Overheard at Work 5

It's been a few days...

So why is it that when food or drink is involved, people tend to lose all ability to do math, read, or make simple decisions? I don't know if any of you have been in a Cold Stone, but the menu board is larger than my dorm room (heck even my own room at home), it isn't very difficult to read the HUGE NUMBERS on there that say how much your purchase will be. Not hard.

Give me the damn correct amount of change. I do not want to hit the $5 button just for you to hand me like 17 different variations of change.

It also pisses me off when you make me take your damn ice cream out of the cup that you WATCHED ME put it into just to say you want me to mix shit into it.

Also when I say that it's an extra quarter if you get another topping that usually means 25 cents. How difficult is it to add $.25 to $3 I mean really?

Let's get something straight, WAFFLE isn't a size. It never was. WAFFLE is a cinnamon flavored cone that we put your fucking ice cream into. You don't go to JcPenny and buy a WAFFLE sized shirt do you? Jesus Christ on a bike.

Another thing, the pen to sign your credit card receipt is in a cup in front of your fucking face. Why must you hand me the pen OVER TOP OF THE CUP just for me to basically climb across the counter to reach that damn cup? It's called common sense.

I would like you all to know that you cannot fathom the immensity of FUCK that I DO NOT give about the flavors you've tried before. Bragging to me about how you've gotten a large in every flavor we have just makes me think you're an unhealthy fat fucking slob. Truth.

Large groups that come in 1min before close, you're not cute when you admit that you're being annoying and making me serve you by myself because everyone else working is closing their section of the store. In fact, I stand before you wishing I could punt your face across the parking lot to Red Robin. Yum.

LASTLY

This is COLD STONE not WENDYS! If one more person comes in asking for a frosty or a burger I will literally pick up a cement truck and throw it through a window.

Overheard at Work 4

May 14, 2010

A man came into the store today and asked me if I was an Elon student. I told him no and went on to tell him I go to UNC ((meh, so what! I have rights to brag, nothing else in my life is even close to being cool enough to brag about))

When I told him my major and my hobbies he told me I was wasting a good education and that I needed to focus on more important things.

HOLD UP

First and foremost, I worked very hard to get where I am today, I study and I make sure I am a good "kid" like everyone expects and like I expect of myself. I got into a good college for a reason AND THAT REASON WAS BECAUSE UNLIKE YOUR STUPID KID I DIDN'T DROP OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL!

Secondly, music is found in every situation. During wars, on the news, while people vote, when people go to the mall, hell...music was even made during th holocaust under the noses of the Nazis!

Don't you tell me what I'm doing is unimportant. What YOU'RE doing is unimportant. You sit there at home shouting at me about my life choices!

When your grandchild is in my high school band or my college level music theory or music history course, I'll make sure to give you a call...

HELP!

Ok, so I have a serious stalker. SERIOUS.

This guy (who shall remain unnamed) appears in my life out of nowhere. Now he won't go away. It started with fairly creepy Facebook chats, then grew to him sending me a message very frequently. One day, he MAGICALLY got my number and started texting me nonstop.

Now normally I would say, hey leave me alone but this guy is so creepy that I'm almost afraid to be mean to him. He's like that Dane Cook skit with the creepy guy at work that loses his shit and shoots everyone in the office (well maybe not a killer, but you get it)

My question to the world is HOW ON EARTH DO I LOSE THIS CREEPER!?

I've tried to be unappealing

I've tried to be nice

I've tried to pull the "I'm not interested" card

I've tried to stay busy

NOTHING IS WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...help?

Overheard at Work Day 2-3

May 11, 2010

7 - 10(ish)pm

Teenage Girls

Lyyyyke OMG, let's get one and share!

Uhhh, OK.

We're lyyyke best friends

I don't give a fuck

Okokokokok (laughs hysterically) we're just going to taste this one and go hahahahahaha

((fucking 13 year old bitches))

Old Woman

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes ma'am I do

Oh, well you don't look like you do.

Hispanic Ghetto Fabbity Fab

Oh gurl, thankya so much fo dis icce cream. What race are you? You look Mexican.

((confused look from Jared))

May 12, 2010

3 - 6pm

Black People (ugh)

Dammmmnnnn gurl, the service here is SLOW!

Apologies, I'm working alone for the time being

Well you need to hire more people, ya heard?

((like I have control over that))

Elon Students

I want to like taste this one and this one and this one and this one and this one and this one and this one...etc. until I want to pull my head off and throw it through the window...Oh! I think I'll just get the ONE FLAVOR that I didn't taste and substitute EVERYTHING for EVERYTHING and then tell you that it's done wrong and make you start over. GAH!

Overheard at Work 1

Guess who started working with the general public again? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

May 10, 1800 - 2100

Old Man

Ma'am what are those things in your ears? They look like cylinder rocks! You know back in my day girls only had pearls and if they didn't that meant she was a whore or still waiting for her man...your man must be a caveman to give you such large rocks.

Sir, they're called gauges. I put them there.

Ohhhhh! Well in that case, God don't like ugly or strange. You should pray.

Black Family

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllllllll where tha butta pecan at! I wan me sum wid sum wet walllllnuts...(enough said on their behalf)

College Guys

Hey! Hey! I think you're in my soci class at Elon! YEAH! I THINK YOU ARE! My name is (blah blah boring). Want to study for the exam?

Dude, I go to UNC.

Well damn, I was TRYING to spit some game but looks like you're a bit too smart for me. (ah the nerve of some men)

That's all I remember for yesterday, more soon...I have a full schedule and nothing to do with my life outside of work.

Goodbye Sophomore Status

You're only a sophomore twice in life (if you're doing it right)

After cleaning out my dorm room and piling everything in neat little piles around our living room and in my corner, I find myself reluctant to actually depart this place. Interesting how things work around here. You pay thousands of dollars to torture yourself upon going to college, yet these are the years we look back upon and smile - these are the years you'll remember for the rest of your life. We sign ourselves up for numerous classes, attempt to study and participate, and are given exams (that quite literally make us all go crazy) at the end of each semester. We complain and whine about how much our lives suck and we retreat to Facebook to tell everyone how much our lives suck.

Then move-out day comes along. After completing that final exam, you clean around your room, finding that homework that you insisted was never given to you - you reflect. You reflect on the year's amazing events. Those birthday rituals, those late night parties, going to sporting events, getting that A on that paper you literally wrote an hour before class...you reflect. You don't want the year to be over, you want to stay in these moments forever.

Summer comes and everyone carries out those trips to the beach, camping, frolicking outside of the country, working to replenish that empty bank account, beach again, perhaps get that new tattoo you've been wanting all year.

Summer isn't that long. This time I'm coming back as a college Junior. Just saying that, thinking it, makes me shiver. These college years go by too fast for my liking. Everyone is going to go off in their own directions soon. Some will stay around, some will move out of the country, some will switch states, and some will forget that major and start a new one.

Life goes by so quickly. Reaching the end of something and right before it turns into the beginning of something new, you reflect. Reflecting makes me sad because it's happening all too quickly. Soon it'll be over and our grandchildren will be experiencing the same feelings we're living now...

Funny to think of things that way, isn't it?

Oh Hell No

I'm a little fed up. I never did understand how people can blatantly lie to someone's face. How. Can. You. Do. That. I'm a little confused as to how a person can live with them self after first leading a person on and then ditching them for a cute little girl that is clueless to how disgusting you really are?

Do you not realize that your actions make women think poorly of you?

Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't comment on my Facebook wall. Don't think about me. Don't dream of me. Don't even think about thinking of me. You are foul. You are a jerk. You are not worth my time. I don't want to be friends.

Fuck you very much.