Overheard at Work Day 2-3

May 11, 2010

7 - 10(ish)pm

Teenage Girls

Lyyyyke OMG, let's get one and share!

Uhhh, OK.

We're lyyyke best friends

I don't give a fuck

Okokokokok (laughs hysterically) we're just going to taste this one and go hahahahahaha

((fucking 13 year old bitches))

Old Woman

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes ma'am I do

Oh, well you don't look like you do.

Hispanic Ghetto Fabbity Fab

Oh gurl, thankya so much fo dis icce cream. What race are you? You look Mexican.

((confused look from Jared))

May 12, 2010

3 - 6pm

Black People (ugh)

Dammmmnnnn gurl, the service here is SLOW!

Apologies, I'm working alone for the time being

Well you need to hire more people, ya heard?

((like I have control over that))

Elon Students

I want to like taste this one and this one and this one and this one and this one and this one and this one...etc. until I want to pull my head off and throw it through the window...Oh! I think I'll just get the ONE FLAVOR that I didn't taste and substitute EVERYTHING for EVERYTHING and then tell you that it's done wrong and make you start over. GAH!

Overheard at Work 1

Guess who started working with the general public again? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

May 10, 1800 - 2100

Old Man

Ma'am what are those things in your ears? They look like cylinder rocks! You know back in my day girls only had pearls and if they didn't that meant she was a whore or still waiting for her man...your man must be a caveman to give you such large rocks.

Sir, they're called gauges. I put them there.

Ohhhhh! Well in that case, God don't like ugly or strange. You should pray.

Black Family

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllllllll where tha butta pecan at! I wan me sum wid sum wet walllllnuts...(enough said on their behalf)

College Guys

Hey! Hey! I think you're in my soci class at Elon! YEAH! I THINK YOU ARE! My name is (blah blah boring). Want to study for the exam?

Dude, I go to UNC.

Well damn, I was TRYING to spit some game but looks like you're a bit too smart for me. (ah the nerve of some men)

That's all I remember for yesterday, more soon...I have a full schedule and nothing to do with my life outside of work.

Goodbye Sophomore Status

You're only a sophomore twice in life (if you're doing it right)

After cleaning out my dorm room and piling everything in neat little piles around our living room and in my corner, I find myself reluctant to actually depart this place. Interesting how things work around here. You pay thousands of dollars to torture yourself upon going to college, yet these are the years we look back upon and smile - these are the years you'll remember for the rest of your life. We sign ourselves up for numerous classes, attempt to study and participate, and are given exams (that quite literally make us all go crazy) at the end of each semester. We complain and whine about how much our lives suck and we retreat to Facebook to tell everyone how much our lives suck.

Then move-out day comes along. After completing that final exam, you clean around your room, finding that homework that you insisted was never given to you - you reflect. You reflect on the year's amazing events. Those birthday rituals, those late night parties, going to sporting events, getting that A on that paper you literally wrote an hour before class...you reflect. You don't want the year to be over, you want to stay in these moments forever.

Summer comes and everyone carries out those trips to the beach, camping, frolicking outside of the country, working to replenish that empty bank account, beach again, perhaps get that new tattoo you've been wanting all year.

Summer isn't that long. This time I'm coming back as a college Junior. Just saying that, thinking it, makes me shiver. These college years go by too fast for my liking. Everyone is going to go off in their own directions soon. Some will stay around, some will move out of the country, some will switch states, and some will forget that major and start a new one.

Life goes by so quickly. Reaching the end of something and right before it turns into the beginning of something new, you reflect. Reflecting makes me sad because it's happening all too quickly. Soon it'll be over and our grandchildren will be experiencing the same feelings we're living now...

Funny to think of things that way, isn't it?

Oh Hell No

I'm a little fed up. I never did understand how people can blatantly lie to someone's face. How. Can. You. Do. That. I'm a little confused as to how a person can live with them self after first leading a person on and then ditching them for a cute little girl that is clueless to how disgusting you really are?

Do you not realize that your actions make women think poorly of you?

Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't comment on my Facebook wall. Don't think about me. Don't dream of me. Don't even think about thinking of me. You are foul. You are a jerk. You are not worth my time. I don't want to be friends.

Fuck you very much.

Sick, I'm Sick!

I think that my stress has bested me. I do so well to hide it that it starts to attack from the inside out. I'm making myself ill...so sick that I can't even focus on what needs to be done.

I can't do this semester anymore.

Phone Blog

To simply put it, I hate this class. I'm sitting here in cultural anthropology and I'm seriously going to die. The professor is supposed to be this big time anthropologist, but all I see is this confused woman standing there in front of us reading an essay to us. She doesn't teach. She doesn't lecture. She reads a paper. That's all. Someone could ask a question on the topic of lecture and the only thing she can do is read the next sentence.

I despise her tactics. She can't pronounce words correctly either. Why did I sign up for this class?! No really, why? This is my hell.

I have to truck up here from south campus all uphill.

Jesus who's idea was it to make this walk all uphill and long?

I can't stand it. If she says white man one more time I'm going to scream in the middle class. I swear I'll do it.

Fuck this class. I'm losing my sanity with each lip smack, uhm, and repetition of words of this woman. For fuck's sake.

Summer Took the Spring Away

Oh, how the outdoor life seems to burst wide open overnight. It seems like just a week ago it was cold and dreary. The flowers have bloomed in literally one day. I went to sleep in Winter and woke up in...Summer?

Ah, the warmth of the sun and the cool of the breeze. The warmth before the discomfort of muggy and sticky of the middle of the Summer. Can we just dwell on how much I'm in love with this weather.

...and lo and behold...with Springtime comes reproduction. Yes, trees, I'm talking to you.

Now, I don't want to be rude, but who in the mother fuck said it was cool for you all to sperm your yellowy-powdery reproductive dust upon my entire body and everything I am wearing, hmm? I woke up this morning and stepped outside onto the balcony of my dorm and looked across campus (a 10th floor view can be quite useful) and saw a cloud. No, not rain clouds, or fluffy clouds to shade me from the sun's blaring beams...a thick, hazy, and yellow cloud...dusty...dangerous. Pollen.

Yo Summer, I respect you and Ima let you finish, but if you were going to steal Spring's months, you could have AT LEAST taken away the pollen and NOT be five billion degrees. I wouldn't have complained...wait...yes I would have. HA