Overheard at Work 8

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY//JUNE!!!

...let's take this day to recognize the hard work and dedication our armed forces have contributed to all of us. Support and appreciate them because they do this for all of us as a country!

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It seems to me that people have trouble reading. Ok, I understand that our store has some of the stupidest fucking names for ice cream, but really:

• chokolatekake doesn't spell "choc-o-latta"
• doughn't doesn't spell "doughnut" (you're already saying "dough" in it, where the hell did you get nut?"
• fantasy (as in cheesecake fantasy) doesn't spell "factory"
• rendezvous doesn't spell "ren-dezzy-vox" COME ONE rendezvous is an actual word.
• remix (as in birthday cake remix) doesn't spell out "birthday party dj remix cake" really?

Don't come in and tell me you've never been here before and you have no idea what to do. There's a giant ass menu with giant ass prices and giant ass descriptions in giant ass reds and whites for your giant ass to read. If that's too hard for you, there's a website on the giant ass world wide web with every fucking flavor and topping and calories and what-have-you to look at before you march your happy ass into our store.

Ok, sometimes I feel like we're the only fucking place in the world that people are allowed to taste every damn flavor. You can't sit there with your stupid face and tell me you've never has chocolate or vanilla or strawberry ice cream before. Why are you tasting them, you're just annoying the piss out of me. Go home.

People that come in literally a min. before we close piss me off. You are the people that taste everything and get a complicated milkshake in the end.

Dear family of Nascar fans. There is a line out the door. You are tasting every flavor and letting your newborn son order his food. Girl bye. You need to get your spoiled fucking bastard child a damn cotton candy with gummy bears and sprinkles (because that's what he'll order after saying 1929030230 different combinations) and get the fuck on down the line before I explode and shower your life with various swear words.

I'm not in high school. I don't know when school is out for them and I don't care when graduation is. I haven't been in high school going on three years now. Please tell me what you want mixed in your damn ice cream so I can go back to never talking to you again.

We don't lick the stone. Why are you asking us what would happen if we licked the stone? Why? If we licked the stone you would sue us or complain. Why in the name of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus Christ would you ask me that question?

Don't ask me why I'm working on a holiday, it's clearly because I'm on the schedule. Do you WANT me to put down your waffle cone and walk out on you? Because if you really want me to, I will.